mingus take me away

Sitting at the Grade Bibliothèque public computer listening to Charles Mingus and I have tuned out the immediate world. I keep glancing out the window though, because there is some very nice light shining down today and I feel some weird anxiety about being in here. My lack of home internet has made me feel some occasional funniness about checking things on here, in public. I am sure no one's looking over my shoulder, at least not directly. But still, even just trying to write openly and honestly is hard! I think about the amount of time that I spend spying on strangers, glancing at what they're checking out on youtube (Michael Jackson death conspiracy videos, soap operas, etc.) and I wonder if anyone is spying on me. I dunno, I don't care.
I feel zonked out today. I have been missing my full mobility and craving long walks. The weather has been finicky, but has been looking a little more like spring and that smell of melting things and old garbage makes me feel giddy. Funny how music like this can transform a whole situation. It reminds me of my Taid and then I remembered that I took a reference from someone earlier today who had a voice just like his, and then I remembered that it was his birthday two weeks ago and I didn't even think about him on that day. I guess he would have been ninety-seven? What's up with time and how it can make you feel so funny? And what's that supposed to mean, feeling funny? Well, I can't say. I am working on decluttering my brain and maybe in the process I will be able to work on becoming more articulate with my thoughts. I feel like lately I go through my days just giggling and feeling funny about everything and never really establishing why.