maybe in the morning
you and mooz are both
crochety and cantankerous
old man, old girl cat
how it is
this is how it is
if this is how it is, then
I don't know nothin'
a whack of lightyears
distance to the moon
let us sit in this much space
keep our bodies close
earlier today...
seagulls fly in vees
got no sense of direction
just flying that way
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
all of this has come in through the window
(Driving home in the dark I saw a blowing piece of garbage, moving like a cat's tail across the dark highway. In the split second that it was a cat, my whole body tingled and jolted. It was just a piece of garbage, and so I relaxed and that was it. But it was a reminder of the power of my mind over my body. And my body tricks my mind too, and it goes both ways I guess.)
Thinking things through:
Steps through tall grass and brush, bending trees away, travelling into a different state where the welcomed rain soaks us like submergence. The air turns sideways and sweeps us up into the foggish clouds- thunder claps on our ears, drawing our shoulders together and the air quickly into our lungs.
The river there is warm to our already wet selves, first trudging then finding the spot just deep enough to float on my back (my new summer dress floating all around me), rain drops on my face, and the reverberating thunder all in my underwater ears.
Earlier,
my fortune told in the glowstick tent: I paid you five times my fare and you told me my partial fate- that I can never go back, that things are never going to be the same as I thought they would. I didn't think you knew who I was talking about (and now I don't know who I was talking about), but you said it didn't matter who, it was still the same thing. Then you blessed me with gold glitter- which was still caked to my scalp the next sunny/foggy morning.
And then,
seeing you, briefly like the first time but you hugged me so nicely and tightly, and I was sizing up your friend, imagining all possible futures like I always do, and wishing I'd never brought the other along- but then again feeling good too, sort of boundless and encouraged in proper directions because it's away from the way that one's heading, and maybe it has to take all of that to figure these things out.
Still,
finding stray flecks of gold glitter, days later and in unlikely places. Each fleck reminding me of something else she'd said, or just sparking some memory of that great open space and all the places I just inhabited, briefly and more lasting.
Later,
sitting awake all night with you, letting you guide me through my thought clouds manifested, and cancelling my apologies (for the way I'm thinking, why do I even think that way, that things must be different than I think). You settle me and help me to unravel myself.
Now,
can't figure out my feelings about you exactly, but feeling this budding thing inside me that is being watered and shone on. I think that roots have been growing in there for a long while maybe, never knew what they were up to, still don't know what this thing will turn into, but feeling open minded and hearted. Learning to just be what I am and open up all of the doors and windows so that good things can come inside to visit and/or stay.
And a new "to do": think, write, read, paint, share, sew, clean, drink, talk, remember, stretch, sleep, dream, wake up, think.
Thinking things through:
Steps through tall grass and brush, bending trees away, travelling into a different state where the welcomed rain soaks us like submergence. The air turns sideways and sweeps us up into the foggish clouds- thunder claps on our ears, drawing our shoulders together and the air quickly into our lungs.
The river there is warm to our already wet selves, first trudging then finding the spot just deep enough to float on my back (my new summer dress floating all around me), rain drops on my face, and the reverberating thunder all in my underwater ears.
Earlier,
my fortune told in the glowstick tent: I paid you five times my fare and you told me my partial fate- that I can never go back, that things are never going to be the same as I thought they would. I didn't think you knew who I was talking about (and now I don't know who I was talking about), but you said it didn't matter who, it was still the same thing. Then you blessed me with gold glitter- which was still caked to my scalp the next sunny/foggy morning.
And then,
seeing you, briefly like the first time but you hugged me so nicely and tightly, and I was sizing up your friend, imagining all possible futures like I always do, and wishing I'd never brought the other along- but then again feeling good too, sort of boundless and encouraged in proper directions because it's away from the way that one's heading, and maybe it has to take all of that to figure these things out.
Still,
finding stray flecks of gold glitter, days later and in unlikely places. Each fleck reminding me of something else she'd said, or just sparking some memory of that great open space and all the places I just inhabited, briefly and more lasting.
Later,
sitting awake all night with you, letting you guide me through my thought clouds manifested, and cancelling my apologies (for the way I'm thinking, why do I even think that way, that things must be different than I think). You settle me and help me to unravel myself.
Now,
can't figure out my feelings about you exactly, but feeling this budding thing inside me that is being watered and shone on. I think that roots have been growing in there for a long while maybe, never knew what they were up to, still don't know what this thing will turn into, but feeling open minded and hearted. Learning to just be what I am and open up all of the doors and windows so that good things can come inside to visit and/or stay.
And a new "to do": think, write, read, paint, share, sew, clean, drink, talk, remember, stretch, sleep, dream, wake up, think.
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